You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Things that don't fit anywhere else.
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jarheadpilot82
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You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Postby jarheadpilot82 » Mon Oct 03, 2011 4:19 pm

I just saw this on another Forum that I subscribe to. I thought all of you might enjoy this. Jeb, with your South Georgia roots, know any of these types? ;)

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK PILOT IF:

1. Your stall warning plays "DIXIE."
2. Your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.
3. You think sectionals should show trailer parks.
4. You've ever used moonshine as AVGas.
5. Your 172's wheel pants have mud flaps with a chrome silhouette of a reclining nude.
6. Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
7. You've ever taxied around the airport just drinking beer.
8. You wouldn't be caught dead in a Grumman Yankee.
9. You use an old sweet mix sack as a wind sock.
10. You constantly confuse "Beechcraft" with "Beechnut."
11. You've never flown a nosewheel airplane.
12. You refer to formation flying as "We got us a convoy."
13. Your matched set of lightweight flying luggage is 3 grocery bags from Walmart.
14. You have a gun rack in the rear window.
15. You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling on.
16. You figure mud and manure in your weight and balance calculations.
17. You siphon gas from your tractor to go flying.
18. You've never landed at an actual airport even though you've been flying for over 20-years.
19. You've ever ground looped to avoid hitting a cow.
20. You consider anything over 100-ft AGL as High Altitude Flying.
21. There are parts on your aircraft labeled "John Deere."
22. You don't own a current sectional, but have all the Texaco road maps for your area.
23. There's a brown streak down each side of your airplane; exhaust on the right side and tobacco on the left.
24. You have to buzz the strip to chase off the livestock before landing.
25. You use an old parachute for a portable hanger.
26. You've ever landed on Main street for a cup of coffee.
27. The tread pattern, if any, on all three of your tires is different.
28. You have a pair of fuzzy dice and some small copper shoes hanging from the Magnetic Compass.
29. You put straw in the baggage compartment so your dogs don't get cold.
30. You've got matching bumper stickers on each side of the vertical fin.
31. There are grass stains on the tips of your propeller.
32. Somewhere on your plane, there's a bumper sticker that reads "I'd rather be fishing."
33. You navigate with your ADF tuned to only AM country stations.
34. You think an ultra light is a new sissy beer from Budweiser.
35. Just before the crash, everybody on the UNICOM frequency heard you say, "Hey Y'all-Watch this!"
Semper Fi,

Terry Hand
Athens, GA

Jeb
Posts: 179
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:18 pm

Re: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Postby Jeb » Sun Oct 09, 2011 9:29 am

Terry:

I learned to fly in South Georgia. At the time, the airport had Beech 99 scheduled service to ATL and a based cropduster. One day as my CFI and I finished a pre-solo lesson, the cropduster approached, needing a ride to an airport about 40 miles away to pick up a much-needed part. I shrugged, he climbed in, and we took off in the little 150. As I was climbing through 1500 feet (about 1200 agl), he reaches out and gently shoves the nose over, saying, "This is high enough. I get nosebleed if we go any higher."

Lots more stories of that operator, the airport (at which I was the lineboy for a while) and assorted mayhem...

Jeb

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champguy
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Location: Florence, (Coastal) Oregon

Re: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Postby champguy » Sun Oct 09, 2011 1:55 pm

Get any higher than that and you can't read the signs.
Remember, not all who wander, are lost.
Image

Jeb
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Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:18 pm

Re: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Postby Jeb » Sun Oct 09, 2011 2:11 pm

LOL! I think that was part of it!

Jeb

champguy wrote:Get any higher than that and you can't read the signs.

Landis
Posts: 115
Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:57 pm

Re: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Postby Landis » Sun Oct 09, 2011 4:44 pm

Jeb wrote:I shrugged, he climbed in, and we took off in the little 150.



You, your instructor, and the crop-duster pilot in a C150? I probably wouldn't want to be higher than 1500' either! :)

Jeb
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Re: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Postby Jeb » Sun Oct 09, 2011 5:23 pm

(Note to self: Next time you tell this story, remember to add the CFI got out before the 'duster got in...)

:D

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jackhodgson
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Re: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Postby jackhodgson » Mon Oct 10, 2011 12:13 pm

And that the 'duster was an I.

// Jack

Jeb
Posts: 179
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:18 pm

Re: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Postby Jeb » Mon Oct 10, 2011 12:17 pm

Well, no. He was rather current with SEL, so he was the PIC even if I was sole manipulator. I couldn't log the flight toward my private...

J

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jarheadpilot82
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Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 3:13 pm

Re: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Postby jarheadpilot82 » Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:18 pm

Jeb,

Sorry for the slow response. Been on the road.

When I was married to wife 1.0, I spent time flying in to some of those places as she was from Cordele. Flown in to Cordele, Thomasville, and Moultrie, to name a few. I think I met that guy!! ;0)

Or at least his second cousin...
Semper Fi,

Terry Hand
Athens, GA


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